


Eyes Closed

by daisyisawriter91



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Declarations Of Love, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 01:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15037775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyisawriter91/pseuds/daisyisawriter91
Summary: Garth is in a new relationship, and it's almost what he wants. Almost. (Based on Halsey's "Eyes Closed")





	Eyes Closed

Garth listened to the steady breathing of the man beside him, fast asleep in the darkened bedroom. The man who wasn't, couldn’t, and would never be, Benny.   
Chuck was nice, and Garth cared about him a great deal. But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, he wasn't in love with Chuck. Not the way he was still in love with Benny.   
Garth turned over onto his side, with his back to Chuck, not quite able to look at him.  
Six months. It had been six goddamn months, and Garth found himself incapable of falling out of love with Benny. Benny, the one who had comforted him through the death of Bobby, Garth's father figure. Benny, the one who never failed to make him smile. Benny, the one who had broken his heart.  
Benny had broken up with Garth with no warning, and only _"I'm not good enough for you."_ as an explanation. It was a bullshit excuse, but Garth had stopped being angry months ago. Now all he wanted was Benny back. Benny had always had a bit of a self loathing streak, but it had been getting better. Or so Garth thought.  
Deciding that he couldn't sleep, Garth quietly got out of bed and walked out to the living room. On the coffee table, like always, was a pad of paper and a ballpoint pen. It had almost become a ritual, by now. Garth would get up and write letters to Benny that he would throw away before he went back to bed. At first it had been angry and barely coherent. Now, it just showed how hopelessly in love and how sad he was. How much he missed Benny. How he wished it hadn't ended up like this.   
Tonight, he started another one.  
He started it like always, the loving curve of Benny's name easily written on paper, just like it had been written a thousand times. He stopped writing and thought. There were so many times Garth had wanted to go back to him. Benny wasn't answering his phone and had told the Winchesters, Garth's only remaining link to him, not to say anything about Benny. Not a word. Benny didn't want Garth back. Or, if he did, he didn't think he was worthy.  
And that's how Garth continued. Telling Benny everything, even though he would never read it. These letters to Benny were his version of a diary. A diary seemed stupid when he had Benny to talk to about anything and everything. Why should it be any different when Benny wasn't even there anymore?   
Dear God, he was pathetic.  
"Garth?" Garth jumped at the sleepy voice of Chuck and looked over. If Benny had appeared in the doorway looking like that, Garth's heart would've stuttered and given out. When Chuck looked that way, Garth didn't feel anything.  
Garth was a terrible person. He was obviously never going to love someone when he felt this way about someone who dumped him. And being in a relationship with Chuck was a bad thing to do when he was hung up on someone else.  
Garth had to struggle not to panic. What should he do? Break up with Chuck in the middle of the night, send him back to his apartment? It seemed like the best idea. It would be better not to lead him on any longer. But, it was the middle of the night. Maybe he should wait until morning.  
"Garth." Chuck repeated. Garth simply smiled, making up his mind.  
"I'll be back in a minute." Garth answered. He would wait until morning. Making someone leave in the middle of the night was something Garth couldn't do.  
However, when the morning sun woke him up, he was not prepared for this breakup. He knew it would be better for the both of them, but he wasn't sure how Chuck would take it. He hoped it would all be okay.  
Garth was unsure how Chuck was taking it. Better than expected? He'd been sitting in the same place, completely silent, for five minutes. At least he wasn't screaming.   
"I understand." Chuck said, finally.  
"You…understand?" Garth asked, puzzled. That wasn't something he'd been expecting.  
"Yes, I understand. I really like you Garth, and I can tell you like me. But not in the right way for this to work. I'm not sure what happened, what made you force this, but it obviously wasn't going to work for us. At least, not right now." Chuck explained. Garth was surprised at the maturity.  
"I'm sorry." Garth said, repeating himself from earlier. Chuck just smiled, sadly.  
"Me, too. Sorry I couldn't be what you needed. If you ever get past what I can't help you with and decide to give us another shot, call me." Chuck stood up. "I really do care about you, Garth."  
Chuck left the apartment without ceremony. Simply gathered his minimal belongings and left, giving one last smile to Garth before closing the door behind him. Chuck had said that if Garth had wanted another shot at the relationship, he could take one, but Garth knew he never would.  
Garth numbly prepared his breakfast, not even really tasting it as he ate. He was deep inside his head, too deep to realize anything else was happening.  
Suddenly, he was in motion. Walking determinedly to his bedroom where his phone sat and sending a demanding text to Dean, telling him to talk about Benny. It had been three months since he'd given up trying to talk to Dean or Sam about Benny, so this was likely a surprise.  
Dean didn't waste time in replying:   
_Benny told us to not say anything._  
Garth's eyebrow twitched in irritation. He wrote back quickly, saying that he didn't care and that, even after six months, he was still madly in love with Benny.  
Dean asked if he was certain, if Garth would do his hardest to win Benny back. Of course, Garth replied positively.  
Dean seemed to think for a minute before replying with-Garth's heart nearly leapt out of his chest-Benny's current address. Dean told him that Benny had been miserable without him, that, more than anything, Benny wanted to be back. But that he hated himself too much to allow himself happiness.  
Garth was out the door before he even finished reading the text, running to Benny's new apartment. Benny had moved in with Garth, then moved out after they'd broken up. It had been one of the most heartbreaking days of Garth’s life, losing all of the things in the house that made it theirs.  
Garth wasn't ready to let the love of his life, who he'd spent two whole years with, go. He couldn't do it.   
Garth's body was growing tired, Benny's new apartment was all the way across the city, but he couldn't stop. Wouldn't waste another second without Benny. He didn't even grab a taxi. His brain wasn't working that way, it never did under pressure.  
Garth arrived with a stitch in his side, but he didn't care. He was thankful that the building didn't have a buzzer. Benny would've never let him in if he was in this mood. Garth bounded up the stairs like a bat out of Hell and knocked rapidly on Benny's door. Garth forgot how to breathe when Benny opened the door, eyes wide at the sight of him.  
Benny opened his mouth to speak, but Garth stopped him before he could get a sentence.   
"No, I'm talking first. I love you. I've loved you since the minute I met you and I know I should've moved on by now, but I haven't. And I won't. You might not think you're good enough for me, but guess what, you are. If we start a cycle of who's not good enough for the other, we'll get caught in a loop that will never end. I love you, and I have reason to believe you still love me. Am I wrong?"  
"No." Benny replied, quietly. "The whole reason I broke up with you, Garth, was because I love you. I still do." Garth nodded, he'd been expecting that.  
"Then come back." Garth implored. "If I go another day without you, I'll scream. You're too important in my life to vanish from it. What do you say? Will you give this-us-another shot?"   
Benny didn't answer, just pulled Garth forward and kissed him.  
It felt like Garth could breathe again for the first time in six months. With Benny's lips on his own, Garth's world righted itself back into its proper position. Benny pulled away and looked into his eyes.   
"I'm an idiot. But I plan on making up for that." Benny determined.   
Garth didn't get the chance to reply, he was just pulled into the apartment, the door shutting behind them.


End file.
